Prayer may not save us. But prayer may make us worthy of being saved.”

That would be the blawg that is in the process of relocating its world headquarters, quite possibly permanently, to western Belize, a country famous for the best diving and snorkeling in the world, rain forests, Mayan ruins, friendly people who speak English and extremely inexpensive living for one like the leader of the Jitterbug Cult who has little money but no debt, no one to feed but himself– and wanderlust and a sense of adventure, both of which need to be quenched while he is still able to thrill-seek while also (always, of course) finding unique ways to serve Almighty God and others.

Belize is no Plano, Texas, but it’ll do.

Meanwhile . . .

People say to me, so how’s the health care in Belize, Pawl?

And having researched the matter, this video below appears to pretty much illustrate the cure-all for most maladies down there.

(And you can get hit in the head by a coconut on the noggin down there if you casually stroll under a coconut tree and then you’ll need to call de doctor.)

But people say, won’t you get bored down there after a while?

Right.

But what about clothing, people ask–being the clothes horse that you are, where will you get threads?

I know, I have a weakness for a nice, tailored, charcoal grey suits and shiny shoes, but will be mostly going all-out fishnet shirts down there, I’m thinking.

Have you lost your mind? You quit your paying job without another job and you’re moving to Belize????? You think you’re Bill GATES or something? You been tossing Willie Nelson mushrooms in your toss salads or something? Why don’t you just jump out of a PLANE, without a PARAchute? Do they even get the Cowboys, Mavericks and Rangersdown there? Do they even have TEE VEE AT ALL down there? Do you know it’s a Latin country with soccer fans? Do you not always say that the only thing worse than track is field and the only thing worse than hockey is soccer????? Have you lost all your one-eye cat marbles?

Or—are you just crazier than anybody ever even thought??????

Then this other voice tunes in to me and says to me:

“That voice is annoying, ain’t it? It’s probably from some Plano Republican.”

So anyway, seriously, ladies and germs. I am leaving the security of my paying job at the hospital in order to go down to Belize, a country that, they tell me, is like a whole other country, but very pretty and the locals are nice and speak English when not speaking Spanish or Creole and sell fruits and veggies right off the organic grounds and out of the organic trees at ridiculously low prices.

It’s way cheaper than the organic fruits and vegetables at Whole Foods in North Dallas. Not to mention the cheap fresh fish.

So I’ve been breaking the news to people that I’m moving to Belize for maybe a whole year, maybe even more or maybe some less, with no job, and they say to me, “Are you serious McKay?” And some say, “ARE YOU SERIOUS MCKAY?”

The implication in that latter response being, “Why don’t you just jump out of a plane without a parachute? ARE YOU CRAZY????”

Others just speak it right out. Are you crazy?

And the short answer to that has been obvious to a lot of people for a long time, including long timers here at the Cult of the Jitterbug where we blawg. And we blawg here for no money. Which has always been in violation of my philosophy of life, which is (in the words of a long dead but great writer), “None but a blockhead would write for anything but money.”

So I’m going to Belize and write and make money at it because I’m a damn good writer–cocky but all good writers and great writers are cocky and those who aren’t cocky drink too much in all those deep insecurities that all good and great writers have.

Plano is a hard place for a writer to be inspired with all those stuffy, fussy Republicans around.

And then there’s the people in Frisco.

Lord. Deliver me.

The more adventurous of my friends and acquaintances, who don’t live their lives in the kind of fear that so many Americans live in, say to me, “Cool. Belize is Eden. Wish I was going with you.”

And my really good friends say, “Cool, can I come visit?”

And I’ll be disappointed if they don’t.

I’ve never been to Belize though (although I’ve been stuck in traffic in Plano and Frisco and the god-awful LBJ freeway in Dallas enough) but they say it’s pretty, with its pristine Caribean waters and rivers and waterfalls, lush fields and forests, Mayan pyramids, quaint villages, colorful birds and monkeyshines and all the rest.

I also know it’s a third world country where you have to adapt to the 3rd world ways of the homeboys and homegirls if you are going to live with and among them, as I plan to do. It’s not like this former reporter hasn’t done a LOT of research on life in Belize, and isn’t still up to his neck in research and planning. Why do you think he’s been absent from this blawg that is saving the world for whole weeks?

And it isn’t like he hasn’t done reporting from places in his reporter days where there was no water, much less luxuries like toilets, or not like he hasn’t built houses on mission trips in Juarez slums, where, come to think of it, there were toilets where we church missioners slept but you couldn’t flush them and a few miles away people were being killed by vicious Juarez cops and troops, not to drug gangsters, and the sewage in the ditch over by where we slept nights was bad when the breeze was blowing all wrong.

So it’s not like I’ve never done 3rd world and don’t know how to navigate, and Belize is not that dangerous and violent unless you want to walk around in southern Belize City at night. Which the embassy people tell me is not advisable and which the Methodist missionaries in south Belize City have informed me not to do.

But I have friends who are afraid to walk in their neighborhoods in Plano and Frisco and NORTH DALLAS at night.

People hear I’m moving to Belize and their first reaction is, “I’ve heard it’s paradise but is it safe to live there?”

Probably safer than PLANO, TEXAS, I say, where there’s heroin dealers but don’t tell them that in Plano because it’ll set their hair on fire.

Anyway…. here’s the plan, Stan:

I’m going down and live in Belize for six months–one can live really, really well for well under $1,000 a month. And that price includes local grown fresh fruits and vegetables, organic every day, right out of the ground and off the trees. The price includes a nice and very nice and clean house or cottage on a near a beach. The $1,000 a month for living, after the purchase of a new bicycle, includes public transportation that will get you anywhere you want to go in the tiny piece of (mostly) paradise that is Belize.

So they tell me.

I’ve never been.

But I’m going, and going there, for one reason, to get better command, if not to get fluent, with the Spanish language. And also to do some writing for money (I was a professional writer in my first life, after all). And I’m also moving to Belize to see what the Caribean Methodist churches are up to down there and offer to do what I can with or for them, maybe in the violent slums of south Belize City where some local and American Methodists are doing some heroic work living and doing ministry with the people of the violent slums. Won’t be my first time in a violent slum and I won’t go out at night.

And then there will be days when I’ll just hang at a noisy American expat bar or a local village market or lay in my hammock or sit by the beach and bang on me drums all day.

But I’m going to go for a year and immerse myself in that beautiful Spanish language and God only knows what God will do with me the rest of my years but in God I truly do trust, like the great American coinage says.

Meanwhile, I’m going to see Dave Matthews Saturday night in Dallas with my gorgeous daughters and son in law.

They sometimes think dad must be crazy.

Wait till they see Belize.

*The Jitterbuggingforjesus.com motto.

**Did I spell Carribbean right? I can never remember if it’s one r and two Aunt Bees or one Aunt Bee and two r’s. I guess a good writer would know.
***No offense to any Plano, Frisco or North Dallas people (especially though, Judy, Judy, Judy) and at least Plano gave us Lance Armstrong and, better than that, Boz Skaggs. What has North Dallas given us lately? —- Jerry Jones? Enough said. I’ve said too much.