Esther de Waal on finding the true self in God, from Living With Contradiction:
The journey by which we discover God is also the journey by which we discover, or uncover, our true self . . .
It is so easy to play the world’s game which is the power game, the game which depends on setting myself apart from others, distinguishing myself, seeking the limelight and looking for applause . . .
My whole attitude towards myself becomes determined by the way other see me. I compare myself with others, and try to emphasize what is different about me.
Those three temptations which Christ faced in the wilderness are equally my own temptations:
— to be relevant
— to be spectacular
— to be powerful.
Am I able, like Christ, to put them down?
Am I prepared to shed all these outer shells of false ambition, of pride?
Am I ready to admit that the mask is a disguise put on to cover up the insecure self? and the armor a shield to protect the vulnerable self?