Meanwhile in today’s news:
— Bernie Sanders (Feel the Sand) promised every American 40 acres, a turkey in every oven and, for good measure, the moon.
— Hill considered firing Bill in a shakeup of her staff but her focus group balked.
— Donald Trump attended an Ass Wednesday service.
— Ted Cruz came dangerously close to not telling a lie but quickly corrected his course and swerved back into the Liars Club.
— And Marco Rubio picked up an endorsement from Robotics. From Robotics. From Robotics.
And in sports . . .
— Von Miller and DeMarcus Ware of the Super Bowl Champion Denver Broncos ran up to Quarterback Cam Newton’s house in Carolina and combined to sack him another five times each just to watch him cry.
And in weather . . .
Folks in New Hampshire went back to suffering winter in silence.