Jitterbugging for Jesus

On Friday, the President of the United States of America said that his Environmental Protection Agency is looking into the problem of sinks and toilets–and newfangled light bulbs.

Speaking at a small-business roundtable meeting, the president actually said the following:

“You turn on the faucet; you don’t get any water. They take a shower and water comes dripping out. It’s dripping out — very quietly dripping out. People are flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times, as opposed to once.

“You go into a new building or a new house or a new home, and they have standards, ‘Oh, you don’t get water.’

“For the most part, you have many states where they have so much water that it comes down – it’s called rain … it rushes down to the sea, they don’t know what to do with it.”

In other news, 53 percent of Republicans think that this president is greater than the 19th-century American leader who saved the Union, freed the slaves and wrote the Gettysburg Address.

Now, most of those same Republicans believe with Rick Perry that God woke up one day and decided to make Donald Trump the next-best thing to God himself and put him in the White House.

Perry said in an interview with Fox & Friends:

“I actually gave the president a little one-pager on those Old Testament kings about a month ago and I shared it with him. I said, ‘Mr. President, I know there are people that say you said you were the chosen one and I said, ‘You were.'”

Perry added that God in the Old Testament Days used many imperfect people to do great things.

And Rick Perry — a former Texas governor, a former Secretary of Energy under Trump, and an astute student of the Bible — is no doubt right that his former boss has been chosen.

I have no doubt that God is directing President Trump through the Holy Ghost to relieve the suffering of millions of Americans who have to flush their toilets 10, 15 times a day.

God undoubtedly has heard the prayers of those Americans who have to run out in the rain with their soap and shampoo to get clean because their showers just drip — quietly drip — even in states where there is rain that falls down and goes to the sea.

God sees our pain and suffering.

God feels our agony.

God hears Republican prayers and acts on them.

God relieves and heals the pain of Americans who vote right — far right.

God is so good that he placed Donald J. Trump — however imperfect a man he may be — to make American plumbing great again.

Glory be!

Praise God and Trump and pass the gravy!